Adventures In Weight Loss

     Almost 2 weeks down and things are still going swimmingly. I have joined up with two other ladies and the support is making all the difference. It makes it much harder to roll over and go back to sleep when I need to be jogging when I know I have two ladies who are expecting me to at least make an attempt.
     Other than the support I've had, I have found two websites that are very helpful. The first is www.livestrong.com. The "MyPlate" has been the best part of the website. It tracks how many calories you need everyday for your weight loss goals to come about. It tracks your caloric intake, water intake, and activity. It takes a few minutes to do each day but how many of us spend the same amount of time on facebook? The second site I love right now is www.gmap-pedometer.com. It tracks how much you walk/run based on the map of your city. A few clicks and you know the exact distance you travelled.
     Something I have been pondering (thanks to some reading sent my way by Olivia Kurcsak) is whether or not I am doing this to be "thin" or strong. For years my weight loss and fitness goals have revolved around attractiveness. For the first time I think I have finally realized what it means to be doing this for myself. My goals are more about making my body strong and able to do things like 5k's. I am always going to have insecurities about my appearance, so making that my goal would only set me up for future frustration and failure. However, if my goals are to make my body stronger I will be more able to succeed. Also, with the focus off of my appearance it is easier to overlook the extra weight and things I do not like about my body.
     Lastly, I do not think I (or any woman in my family) can do anything without adventures. The biggest one of the past few weeks...drum roll...having a HUGE German Shepherd come after me and my little dog Penny.I decided to take her on a nice long walk to the park for us both to get some fresh air and exercise. We were minding our own business when I see a very large dog up ahead. I cross the street and avoid it. It decides to crouch down and- while staring us down- crosses the street ever-so-slowly. The owner just stands there watching. When it gets about five feet away from us and begins growling and nipping at the air I start screaming at the owner. She laughs, apologizes, and says the "dog doesn't usually do that!" The dog keeps coming at us. I raise a foot to kick it away. Just instinct I guess, I don't think I was any match for the gigantic dog. THEN the owner starts yelling for her dog.
     That's the update on my hopes and dreams of running a 5k. Looking forward to a morning of jogging and peanut butter oatmeal (more to come on that later!).

Here goes nothin'!

    My blog is usually far from personal, but hey, it's MY blog so occasionally it can be about me and where I am at. It's also a bit of accountability to post my goals so publicly. So without further ado, here it goes.

1. It is way past time for me to be the grown up owner of a Bachelors degree. Then go on to get a Masters. I've always been a nerd. My childhood fantasy career involved sitting at a desk with lots of books. Then in college I was introduced to research databases. I looked something like a kid in a candy shop. Total nerd, I know. My passion has always been in knowledge, and I lost it somewhere along the way. I am fairly certain that I am going to pursue an MSW when I finish my undergrad degree. After working at a school for a year I realized that I have little desire to be "brought into the fold" of licensed teaching. It's cool if that's for you, it's a noble profession, just not for me.

2. Weight loss. Funny it would show up on a list of goals. Of course, I am always one for originality. I will be the first to say it is time for me to take it seriously. Not to look good. I need to feel good. It's hard to do that with an extra seventy pounds. Yes I said seventy. The big 7-0. I plan on blogging that journey a bit here and there.
     On that note, I would also like to be 5k ready in a year. I do not want to walk a 5k in a year I want to run it. I can see those who took high school PE classes with me. They are sitting at the computer screen laughing and reminiscing about the time I fell trying to hit a tennis ball, or the time sustained a concussion running laps, or the time I dropped out of PE after one day of volleyball, or the time I "jogged" a 22 min mile. Anyone who wants to jump in and encourage/challenge me is welcome to.

3. My third, and most important goal is to be more positive. If I don't like something I should try to fix it rather than talk it to death. I realized that a lot of my beef with my life lately has been working for $8/hour and how I feel about my body and how my body feels. I had to look in the mirror and say, "That's your fault honey!" Without my degree I will be making $8/hour forever, and it's those yummy potato chips that got my body into the shape it's in. I had to own up to find the motivation to change things.

Gooey Gingerbread Cookies

     Preheat oven to 350. Mix sugar and softened (not melted!) butter. Mix other wet ingredients, soda, and spices. Mix in flour a small amout at a time. Chill in freezer 15 min. Roll dough into 1in. balls. Roll in sugar. Bake 7-10min. (I usually try for about 8....less if you like them a bit undercooked.) Enjoy!

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons ground ginger

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

3/4 teaspoon ground cloves

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup salted butter, softened

1 cup white sugar

1 egg

2 tablespoon water

1/4 cup molasses

2 tablespoons white sugar

Thin Mint Brownies...

     For those times when Girl Scout Cookies aren't in season, or your just having a craving for mint and chocolate! Made the recipe myself after tweeking an online brownie recipe. For fudgy brownies don't use a mixer on the batter, mix by hand. Bake 350 until fork comes out clean 2in. from side. Frost while warm.

1/2 cup coconut oil (or butter)

1 cup white sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

 4 tablespoons water

Icing                   

3 tablespoons butter, softened

3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

1 tablespoon agave nectar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

 Few drops food grade peppermint oil to taste (I do mean a few DROPS!)

 1 cup powdered sugar

Art and Androgyny

      Somehow over the years my favorite artist in literature have been depressed, often bi-polar (in both  the clinical and somewhat less medical use of the term). The women who wrote from an emotional, psychological place have been those most dear to me. Virginia Woolf comes to mind almost instantly. I used her works and influence in both of my senior capstone projects. I feel at home in her pages. Silvia Plath comes to mind next. Pages can be, and have been, written about these women. The topic I come to is this: Should a female artist seek to be androgenous as Woolf suggests, or should their loyalty be only to their sex. Also, what does loyalty to our sex mean.
      In my own work, I have felt the pull to be masculine and logical. I feel the need to be linear in my writing. I remember taking my first formal creative writing class. I sheepishly handed over a half mutilated text a month or so into class. The work was not wonderful, it needed more time to bloom and grow into what it needed to be. The first words out of the professors mouth was this: "Don't use flash back, tell a story beginning to end." (Note: this professor became my advisor and ended up giving me an A on a piece of "stream of consciousness" fiction, so it pays to be stubborn and argumentative.) Why not use flashback? Why do we pick up the character at one point in their life and ignore them as people? Woolf wrote entire novels which covered only a few hours linearly, but covered thirty or forty years of a characters life through “flashbacks.” Male authors have used stream of consciousness as well, so it is not a strictly female dominated art form. However, the use of a non-linear timeline in a story seems to contradict a masculine “logic driven” approach.

      Growing up in Western society we are taught that emotions are "bad," depression needs instant removal through the means of medication, and we must (particularly as women) always show a happy, contented face. Often feminist (yes, I am stooping to the level of using a generalization) will take up arms with what I have to say next, but I have failed to care for this long and do not intend to spare my gender now. The feminine, in its emotional complexity has something to offer. Rather than looking on the part it can play in our lives, women have been urged to “man up.” While emotional whims should not toss us to and fro like a banner in the wind, it should be a balanced part of ourselves. Writing should reflect this balance. Balance is loyalty to our sex. The flip side of the coin is the question of whether or not men should learn to incorporate feminine aspects to their art. Androgeny, as presented by Woolf, seems to suggest this. It is not women trying to destroy their attributes. It is far from that idea. The ideal writer comes from a standpoint a close to androgyny as possible. Logic and emotion weaved together. Female authors also can recognize the strengths femininity can bring to art.

Emperor's New Clothes

     Thought I would start my blog off with my pet peeve: Hipsters. Here's to you hipster....a list (after a rant) of things no one likes, not even you guys.  One might say to themselves, "I know this chick, she is- herself- a hipster." Not quite. My complaint is the "smarter than you" ideology I would classify as "hipster." The idea that you liked everything before it was likable. It's the martyr syndrome of feeling like you were cool before your time, then watched as everyone catastrophically started trying to be you. Once one hipster starts to like something new and uncharted, everyone pretends it's the coolest thing since idioms. It's the never ending search to find those things that no one even likes but pretends to....such as....

1) Turkish coffee- for those of you in the dark, it's coffee with fine grounds that eventually settle- or end up gagging you on the way down. It's just gross. I was handed a cup of this "delicacy" once, and everyone else in the group thought it was liquid gold.
2) Boys who wear skinny jeans- not much needs to be said. No one needs/wants to see that.
3) Going "natural" with hygiene- I am all for being less of a jerk to the environment and believe it is something we all need to strive toward....but does it have to be at the cost of everyone's noses around you? There are environmentally friendly ways to maintain hygiene.
4) Causes no one has ever heard of/ boycotting popular causes- Do we really have to make our charity cool? Do popular causes deserve our wrath because they dared to become mainstream?
5)  Pabst Blue Ribbon- taste like dirt, but you don't show up to a hipster party with some Miller Light or something else mainstream. Only PBR for our friends who enjoy the finer things in life.
6) Breaking the bank to look poor- if you really want to look like a hobo go to Goodwill and rip up some clothes.

What about those of us who were uncool before it was cool to be uncool? Are we, in turn, cursed to be the ultimate hipsters?

Authors note: Yes, I used Helvetica font, yes I watched a documentary on it, and yes I would say I am a recovering hipster.